​Wives and husbands

The husband comes home: “If the food is not ready in 10 minutes, I get dressed and go to the restaurant.”
The wife: “Wait, please, ten minutes, then”
The happy husband: “Why? Is the food ready?”
The wife: “No, I get dressed and I come with you.”
 

The husband: “I heard that Paul had sex with all women in the building, except one.”
“Yes, “ confirmed the wife, “Mary, from the third floor.”
 

 
The husband: “Can you tell me something that will make me sad and happy in the same time?”
The wife: “ You have the biggest dick in the building.”
 

 
After having sex with her wife, the husband asks: “How comes I never know when you have an orgasm?”
The wife: “I do not want to call you at the office for such a trivial thing.”
 

Q: when is someone congratulated when he is doing a mistake?
A: When he gets married
 

 
Q: When is someone congratulated when he makes a mistake?
A: When he gets married